Chapter 1. Children Come from Us

Aristotle. Nicomachean Ethics. 2nd ed. Translated by Terrence Irwin. Indianapolis: Hackett, 1999.

The discussion of parenthood is in Book 8, chapter 12. All source quotes are on p. 133 (my versions are very slightly modified). Aristotle discusses friendship throughout Books 8 and 9.

Bartholet, Elizabeth. Family Bonds: Adoption, Infertility, and the New World of Child Production. Boston: Beacon, 1993.

“I am the complete rationalist . . .”: see p. 22. I discuss Bartholet’s views on adoption in chapter 8.

Conn, Peter. Adoption: A Brief Social and Cultural History. New York: Palgrave, 2013. For discussion of adoption in Ancient Greece, see pp. 30-34.

Fried, Charles. Right and Wrong. Cambridge, MA: Harvard College, 1978.

Fried’s discussion of parenthood is on pp. 150-55. “Parenthood is a kind of . . .”: see p. 155.

Hrdy, Sarah Blaffer. Mother Nature: Maternal Instincts and How They Shape the Human Species. New York: Ballantine, 2000.

Huxley, Aldous. Brave New World. New York: Harper Perennial, 2006.

Jones, J. “Adoption Experiences of Women and Men and Demand for Children to Adopt by Women 18-44 Years of Age in the United States, 2002.” National Center for Health Statistics. Vital Health Stat Series 23, no. 27 (2008).

For fertility status of women seeking to adopt, see p. 15, figure 9.

Krazit, Tom. “The Backstory of Steve Jobs’ Quote About Parenthood.” October 11, 2011. IruKHkm.

The origin of the Elizabeth Stone “heart outside the body” quote is explained here.

Nozick, Robert. The Examined Life: Philosophical Meditations. New York: Touchstone, 1989.

Nozick’s discussion of parents and children is in chapter 3. The quote about children is on p. 28.

Plato. The Republic. Translated by G. M. A. Grube and C. D. C. Reeve. Indianapolis: Hackett, 1992.

The reproduction of Guardians is discussed in Book 5.

Simon, Scott. Baby, We Were Meant for Each Other: In Praise of Adoption. New York: Random House, 2010.

Simon, Scott. “ ‘Meant for Each Other’: Scott Simon’s Adoption Story.” National Public Radio. August 20, 2010.

Quotes from Simon’s book Baby, We Were Meant for Each Other are in the book excerpt that can be found here.

Vandivere, S., K. Malm, and L. Radel. Adoption USA: A Chartbook Based on the 2007 National Survey of Adoptive Parents. Washington, DC: The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Office of the Assistant Secretary for Planning and Evaluation, 2009.

For data on adoption satisfaction, see p. 35. This survey found that the vast majority who adopt would make the same adoption decision all over again.

Chapter 2. Life Is Good

Adiga, Aravind. Last Man in Tower. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 2011.

“I was never born . . .”: see p. 7. The author characterizes this as “adapted from The Bhagavad Gita

Benatar, David. Better Never to Have Been: The Harm of Coming into Existence. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2008.

Caplan, Bryan. Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids: Why Being a Great Parent Is Less Work and More Fun than You Think. New York: Basic Books, 2006.

“To deny the gift of life . .”: see p. 12.

Dawkins, Richard. Unweaving the Rainbow: Science, Delusion and the Appetite for Wonder. New York: Mariner Books, 1998.

“We are going to die . . .”: see p. 1.

Overall, Christine. Why Have Children? The Ethical Debate. Cambridge, MA: The MIT Press, 2012.

Parfit, Derek. Reasons and Persons. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1984.

Smilansky, Saul. “Is There a Moral Obligation to Have Children?” Journal of Applied Philosophy 12 (1995): 41-53.

Wittgenstein, Ludwig. Philosophical Investigations. Malden, MA: Wiley- Blackwell, 2009.

Chapter 3- Quantity Control

Adams, Lisa Ramsey. “Eternal Progression.” In Encyclopedia of Mormonism, edited by Daniel H. Ludlow. New York: MacMillan, 1992. 1PzT7wX.

Boulding, Kenneth. The Meaning of the Twentieth Century: The Great Transition. London: George Allen and Unwin Ltd., 1964.

The cap-and-trade system is described on pp. 135-36.

Caplan, Bryan. Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids: Why Being a Great Parent Is Less Work and More Fun than You Think. New York: Basic Books, 2011.

“the good effects . .”: see p. 136.

De la Croix, David, and Axel Gosseries. “Population Policy through Tradable Procreation Entitlements.” International Economic Review 50, no. 2 (2009): 507-42.

Joyce, Kathryn. Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement. Boston: Beacon Press, 2009.

Ord, Toby. “Overpopulation or Underpopulation?” Presentation delivered at the Oxford Martin School at Oxford University, October 2011. 1Sbfk47.

Pew Research Center. America's Changing Religious Landscape. May 12, 2015. http://

The fertility statistics are on p. 64.

Roberts, Sam. “A Village with the Numbers, Not the Image, of the Poorest Place.” New York Times, April 20, 2011. 1yQ3RmN.

Sachs, Kenneth. The End of Poverty: Economic Possibilities for Our Time. New York: Penguin, 2005.

See pp. 323-26 (and throughout chapter 16) for a discussion of the relationship between fertility and variables like poverty, infant mortality rates, and gender equality.

Scheffler, Samuel. Death and the Afterlife. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2013.

To Scheffler I owe the idea that life for our survivors is tantamount to an afterlife for us.

Wikipedia, s. v. “Endangered species.” Last modified May 19, 2016. http://en.

Wikipedia, s. v. “Population growth.” Last modified May 3, 2016. http://en.

Chapter 4. Quality Control

“Bare Branches, Redundant Males.” The Economist, April 18, 2015. Source for sex ratios in India and China.

California Cryobank Reproductive Tissue Services. “Look-A-Likes.” http://www.

Egg Donation, Inc.

Glover, Jonathan. Choosing Children: The Ethical Dilemmas of Genetic Intervention. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2006.

“Cheerful moral anarchy . . . ”: see p. 54.

iPledge: Committed to Pregnancy Prevention. This is the online version of the isotretinoin booklet.

Kamm, Francis. “What Is and Is Not Wrong with Enhancement?” In Human Enhancement, edited by Julian Savulescu and Nick Bostrom, 91-130. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2009.

“One can know . ”: see p. 113.

Parfit, Derek. Reasons and Persons. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1984.

My Accutane example is inspired by the medical programs scenario on p. 367. My distinction between protecting and selecting is meant to capture the distinction Parfit draws between making a reproductive decision based on a person-affecting principle, and based on an impersonal principle.

Sandel, Michael. The Case against Perfection: Ethics in the Age of Genetic Engineering. Cambridge, MA: Belknap Press of Harvard University Press, 2007.

“openness to the unbidden”: see p. 45. Sandel credits the phrase to the theologian William F. May.

Savulescu, Julian. “Procreative Beneficence: Why We Should Select the Best Children.” Bioethics 15, no. 5/6 (2001): 413-25.

Savulescu, Julian, and Guy Kahane. “The Moral Obligation to Create Children with

the Best Chance of the Best Life.” Bioethics 23, no. 5 (2009): 274-90.

Tantibanchachai, Chanapa. “Isotretinoin as a Teratogen.” The Embryo Project Encyclopedia.

Thernstrom, Melanie. “Meet the Twiblings.” The New York Times Magazine, December 29, 2010.

This article is the source of the quote from a mother-to-be who says that egg donation is akin to blood donation.

Velleman, David. “Family History.” Philosophical Papers 34, no. 3 (2005): 357-78.

Weinberg, Rivka. “The Moral Complexity of Sperm Donation.” Bioethics 22, no. 3 (2008): 166-78.

Chapter 5. In the B egin n ing

Baird, Robert M., and Stuart E. Rosenbaum. The Ethics of Abortion: Pro-Life vs. ProChoice. Amherst: Prometheus, 2001.

When I write “there’s no simple, direct route from the status of the fetus to the permissibility or impermissibility of ending pregnancy,” I have in mind the well-known articles by Judith Jarvis Thomson and Don Marquis that are reprinted in this volume. Thomson assumes for the sake of argument that the fetus is a person, but makes an impressive case that abortion is nevertheless defensible under certain conditions; Marquis assumes the fetus is not a person, and yet makes a thought-provoking case that abortion is nevertheless just as problematic as killing a person.

Baker, Lynne Rudder. Persons and Bodies: A Constitution View. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 2000.

Baker, Lynne Rudder. “When Does a Person Begin?" Social Philosophy and Policy 22, no. 2 (2005): 25-48.

“rudimentary first person perspective”: see pp. 30-36. “just an ontologically insignificant . . .”: see p. 40. In this article (see pp. 26-27), Rudder makes the twinning argument against asserting that the fetal organism comes into existence prior to implantation.

Brogaard, Berit. “The Moral Status of the Human Embryo.” In Biomedical Ethics: Humanist Perspectives of Humanism Today, edited by Howard B. Rades, 81-90. Amherst: Prometheus Books, 2006.

Brogaard surveys a number of ways of understanding the metaphysics of twinning. She argues that even mere potential for twinning blocks the identity of any early embryo, and a later fetus or baby.

Eliot, Lise. What's Going on in There? How the Brain and Mind Develop in the First Five Years of Life. New York: Bantam, 1999.

“250,000 neurons are born per minute”: see p. 26.

Ford, Norman. When Did I Begin? Conception of the Human Individual in History, Philosophy, and Science. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1991.

Koch, Christof. “When Does Consciousness Arise?” Scientific American Mind, September 1, 2009. lOwIPSO.

Source for the view that consciousness is not present until the third trimester, when the fetus has a normal EEG.

Lagercrantz, Hugo, and Jean-Pierre Changeux. “The Emergence of Human Consciousness: From Fetal to Neonatal Life.” Pediatric Research 65 (2009): 255-60.

Source for the view that different aspects of consciousness emerge at different points, and for timing of olfaction and hearing.

Lee, Susan J., Henry J. Ralston, Eleanor A. Drey, John Colin Partridge, and Mark A. Rosen. “Fetal Pain: A Systematic Review of the Evidence.” Journal of the American Medical Association 294, no. 8 (2005): 947-54.

A detailed investigation of fetal consciousness, with emphasis on fetal pain.

Olson, Eric T. The Human Animal: Personal Identity without Psychology. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1997.

This very clear and readable book is the place to start if you are interested in Olson’s account of when Larry’s life begins. Olson’s support for Norman Ford is on p. 91.

Olson, Eric T. What Are We? A Study in Personal Ontology. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2007.

Pearson, Helen. “Your Destiny, from Day One.” Nature 418 (July 4, 2002): 14-15. This short, clear article is the source for my discussion of the early embryo’s axes, and for the claim that 85 percent of a blastocyst becomes support structures and 15 percent becomes fetus.

Smith, Barry, and Berit Brogaard. “Sixteen Days.” Journal of Medical Philosophy 28, no. 1 (2003): 45-78.

The argument about the lack of a defense system for maintaining stability is on p. 60.

The Visible Embryo.

Great source for information about fetal development.

Chapter 6. A Child Is Born

Brody, Jane. “As Cases of Induced Labor Rise, So Do Experts’ Concerns.” New York Times, January 14, 2003. lYzkGxy.

Epstein, Randi Hutter. Get Me Out: A History of Childbirth. New York: W. W. Norton, 2010.

Moyer, Melinda Wenner. “The Truth about Epidurals: Are They Really So Bad?” Slate, January 11, 2012. 1C7LCqt.

Nozick, Robert. Anarchy, State, and Utopia. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1974.

The experience machine thought experiment is on pp. 42-45.

Chapter 7. Whose Child Is This?

Archard, David. Children: Rights and Childhood. 2nd ed. Milton Park, UK: Routledge, 2004.

See pp. 144-45 for his claim that Charles Fried and Robert Nozick, who both speak of children as self-like, are both under the influence of the owner- property model of the parent-child relationship. The quotes about friends, colleagues, etc., are on p. 145.

Boswell, John. The Kindness of Strangers: The Abandonment of Children in Western Europe from Late Antiquity to the Renaissance. New York: Pantheon, 1988.

On Romans who abandoned their children, see pp. 75-78. On Rousseau’s abandonment of his children, see p. 20 (note 42). The quote from Emile is in note 42. On recovery of abandoned children as a theme in Roman literature, see chapter 2 (pp. 95-137).

Fessler, Ann. The Girls Who Went Away: The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades before Roe. V. Wade. New York: Penguin, 2006.

Glass, Ira. “Unconditional Love, Act One. Love Is a Battlefield.” (Episode 317) This American Life, 2006.

Radio show about astonishingly dedicated adoptive parents of an emotionally disturbed boy.

Glass, Ira. “Switched at Birth.” (Episode 360) This American Life, 2008.

Radio show about children accidentally switched at birth.

Homes, A. M. The Mistress's Daughter. New York: Viking, 2007.

A memoir about growing up adopted, and about one adult child’s perplexity.

Jacobs, Margaret D. A Generation Removed: The Fostering and Adoption of Indigenous Children in the Postwar World. Lincoln: University of Nebraska, 2014.

Locke, John. Second Treatise of Government. In Political Writings of John Locke, edited by David Wooton. New York: Mentor, 1993.

Discussion of labor and the phrase “as much and as good” are in paragraph 27 (p. 274).

Richards, Norvin. The Ethics of Parenthood. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2010.

Sedlak, Andrea J., and Diane D. Broadhurst. “Executive Summary of the Third National Incidence Study of Child Abuse and Neglect.” US Department of Health and Human Services, 1996.

Solomon, Andrew. Far from the Tree: Parents, Children, and the Search for Identity. New York: Scribner, 2012.

Chapter 8. Nobody's Child

Bartholet, Elizabeth. Family Bonds: Adoption, Infertility, and the New World of Child Production. Boston: Beacon, 1999.

“My point is not that . . .”: see p. 181. “The sense that a child . . . ”: see pp. 181-82. “Some presumption . . .” and the quotes that follow are on

pp. 181-82.

Bartholet, Elizabeth. “International Adoption: The Child’s Story.” Harvard Law School Faculty Scholarship Series, Paper 27, 2007. vard_faculty/27.

“Wrong ideas about children”: see p. 28. “Those who believe in children’s rights . ”: see p. 30.

Bartholet, Elizabeth. Nobody's Children: Abuse and Neglect, Foster Drift, and the Adoption Alternative. Boston: Beacon Press, 1999.

The “blood bias” quote is on p. 7.

Bartholet, Elizabeth, and David M. Smolin. “The Debate.” In Intercountry Adoption: Policies, Practices, and Outcomes, edited by Judith L. Gibbons and Karen Smith Rotabi, 233-51. Williston, VT: Ashgate, 2012.

Boo, Katharine. Behind the Beautiful Forevers: Life, Death, and Hope in a Mumbai Undercity. New York: Random House, 2012.

Brake, Elizabeth. “ Willing Parents: A Voluntarist Account of Parental Role Obligations.” In Procreation and Parenthood: The Ethics of Bearing and Rearing

Children, edited by David Archard and David Benatar, 151-77. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2011.

Brighouse, Harry, and Adam Swift. Family Values: The Ethics of Parent-Child Relationships. Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press, 2014.

“We doubt that the adult interest . . . ”: see p. 107. “Adoptive parents need not model . . .”: p. 107.

Conn, Peter. Adoption: A Brief Social and Cultural History. New York: Palgrave MacMillan, 2013.

Conn discusses the natural order on p. 11; Aristotle on women on p. 12; and Aristotle’s defense of slavery on p. 14.

Jacobs, Margaret D. A Generation Removed: The Fostering and Adoption of Indigenous Children in the Postwar World. Lincoln: Nebraska University Press, 2014.

This book covers removal of indigenous children from their biological parents in the United States, Canada, and Australia.

Joyce, Kathryn. The Child Catchers: Rescue, Trafficking, and the New Gospel of Adoption. New York: Public Affairs-Perseus, 2013.

LeBlanc, Adrian Nicole. Random Family: Love, Drugs, Trouble, and Coming of Age in the Bronx. New York: Scribner, 2004.

Page, Edgar. “Parental rights.” Journal of Applied Philosophy 1 (1984): 187-203.

“For most people . . .”: see p. 201.

Prusak, Bernard. Parental Obligations and Bioethics: The Duties of a Creator. New York: Routledge, 2013.

Shanley, Mary Lyndon. Making Babies, Making Families: What Matters Most in an Age of Reproductive Technologies, Surrogacy, Adoption, and Same-Sex and Unwed Parents. Boston: Beacon Press, 2001.

Sixsmith, Martin. Philomena: A Mother, Her Son, and a Fifty-Year Search. New York: Penguin, 2009.

Smith, Janet Farrell. “A Child of One’s Own: A Moral Assessment of Property Concepts in Adoption.” In Adoption Matters: Philosophical and Feminist Essays, edited by Sally Haslanger and Charlotte Witt, 112-31. Ithaca, NY: Cornell University Press, 2005.

Chapter 9. Parenthood's Aim

Brighouse, Harry, and Adam Swift. Family Values: The Ethics of Parent-Child Relationships. Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press, 2014.

Chua, Amy. Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. New York: Penguin, 2011.

Feinberg, Joel. “The Child’s Right to an Open Future.” In Whose Child? Childrens Rights, Parental Authority, and State Power, edited by William Aiken and Hugh LaFollette, 124-53. Totowa, NJ: Littlefield, Adams & Co., 1980.

Harris, Judith Rich. The Nurture Assumption: Why Children Turn Out the Way They Do. New York: Free Press, 1998 (revised in 2009).

Irvine, William B. Doing Right by Children. St. Paul, MN: Paragon House, 2001.

The stewardship model of parenting is discussed on pp. 213-27.

Kazez, Jean. The Weight of Things: Philosophy and the Good Life. Oxford: Blackwell, 2007.

Kristof, Nicholas D., and Sheryl WuDunn. Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide. New York: Knopf, 2009.

Macleod, Colin M. “Conceptions of Parental Autonomy” Politics and Society 25 (1997): 117-40.

Slote, Michael. Goods and Virtues. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1983.

See chapter 1 of this book for a defense of the view that childhood successes and misfortunes are less important than later successes and misfortunes. Slote writes, “Within a very wide range, the facts of childhood simply don’t enter with any great weight into our estimation of the (relative) goodness of total lives” (p. 14).

Chapter 10. First Decisions

American Academy of Pediatrics, Committee on Fetus and Newborn, Committee on Drugs, Section on Anesthesiology, Section on Surgery. “Neonatal Anesthesia.

Pediatrics 80 (1987): 446.

The AAP position on management of newborn pain is stated here. I owe this reference to Stang (1998).

American Academy of Pediatrics, Task Force on Circumcision. “Circumcision Policy Statement.” Pediatrics 130, no. 3 (2012): 585-86.

American Academy of Pediatrics, Task Force on Circumcision. “Technical Report: Male Circumcision.” Pediatrics 130, no. 3 (2012): e756-85.

Source for most of the information about costs and benefits of circumcision, but see Gray, McNeil, Smith et al., and UNFPA et al. articles for discussion of circumcision and HIV-AIDS.

Benatar, Michael, and David Benatar. “Between Prophylaxis and Child Abuse: The Ethics of Neonatal Male Circumcision.” In Cutting to the Core: Exploring the Ethics of Contested Surgeries, edited by David Benatar, 23-46. Lanham, MD: Roman & Littlefield, 2006.

Boorstein, Michelle. “A Small but Growing Number of Jews Is Questioning the Ancient Ritual of Circumcision.” Washington Post, December 28, 2013. http:// 1czTvL2.

Darby, Robert J. L. “The Child’s Right to an Open Future: Is the Principle Applicable to Non-therapeutic Circumcision?” Journal of Medical Ethics 39 (2013): 463-68.

Diamant, Anita, with Karen Kushner. How to Raise a Jewish Child: A Practical Handbook for Family Life. New York: Schocken Books, 2008.

“The most compelling answer . . .”: p. 163.

Campo-Flores, Arian. “Circumcision Coverage Comes Into Focus.” The Wall Street Journal, January 20, 2014.

Source for information about Medicaid coverage.

Glick, Leonard. Marked in Your Flesh: Circumcision from Ancient Judea to Modern America. New York: Oxford University Press, 2005.

Glick discusses Genesis 17 on pp. 13-16. See p. 65 for the Maimonides quote.

Gray, Ronald. “Male Circumcision: The Shortcut to Sexually Transmitted Disease Prevention.” Johns Hopkins 2010 Fall Provost’s Lecture Series, December 7, 2010.

My discussion of circumcision and HIV is largely based on this very clear and persuasive presentation.

JPS Tanakh: The Holy Scriptures. Philadelphia: The Jewish Publication Society, 1985. Verses from Genesis, chapter 17, are on pp. 23-24.

Kunin, Samuel A. “A Non-Orthodox Physician-Mohel: Some Differences in Approach.” InterFaithFamily. 1YzjMRN.

McNeil, Donald G. “Cultural Attitudes and Rumors Are Lasting Obstacles to Safe Sex.” New York Times, May 9, 2010.

This article explains some of the cultural barriers to condom use in one African country with an HIV epidemic.

Neustadt, Rabbi Doniel. “The Yoledes in Halachah.”

Smith, Dawn, K., Allan Taylor, Peter H. Kilmarx, Patrick Sullivan, Lee Warner, Mary Kamb, Naomi Bock, Bob Kohmescher, Timothy D. Mastro. “Male Circumcision in the United States for the Prevention of HIV Infection and Other Adverse

Health Outcomes: Report from a CDC Consultation.” Public Health Reports 125, Supplement 1 (2010): 72-82.

This article makes it clear how little research has been done on circumcision and HIV in the United States, but the authors nevertheless do affirm the likelihood of a benefit.

Stanford University Medical School. “Circumcision—Gomco Technique.” http://

Stang, Howard J., and Leonard W. Snellman. “Circumcision Practice Patterns in the United States.” Pediatrics 101, no. 6 (1998): e5.

This is the source for patterns of anesthesia usage among physicians who circumcise newborns.

Svoboda, J. Steven, and Robert S. Van Howe. “Out of Step: Fatal Flaws in the Latest AAP Policy Report on Neonatal Circumcision.” Journal of Medical Ethics 39 (2013): 434-41.

UNFPA, WHO, and UNAIDS. “Position Statement on Condoms and the Prevention of HIV, other Sexually Transmitted Infections and Unintended Pregnancy.”

Offers data on patterns of condom use and argues for the importance of condoms in preventing HIV-AIDS.

Ungar-Sargon, Eliyahu, director. Cut: Slicing Through the Myths of Circumcision (2005).

World Health Organization. Male Circumcision: Global Trends and Determinants of Prevalence, Safety and Acceptability. Geneva: WHO Press, 2007.

Source for US and global circumcision statistics.

Chapter 11. Still Life with Child

Aristotle. TheNicomachean Ethics. 2nd ed. Translated by Terence Irwin. Indianapolis: Hackett, 1999.

For Aristotle’s account of virtue as a mean, see Book II, chapter 6. For Aristotle’s initial concern with humans living differently from animals, see Book II, chapter 7. “We ought not to follow”: Book X, chapter 7 (pp. 164-65).

Belkin, Lisa. “The Opt-Out Revolution.” New York Times Magazine, October 26, 2003.

Much-discussed article about women at the high end of the economic spectrum choosing to leave successful careers.

Clarke-Stewart, Alison, and Virginia D. Allhusen. What We Know About Childcare. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 2005.

This is the source for the assertion that children in day care are not very different from children raised at home. This is not to say there are no differences. The authors claim (chapter 5) that children in day care are somewhat more aggressive and also somewhat ahead of their peers, socially and cognitively. They are no less attached to their mothers.

Cohany, Sharon R., and Emy Sok. “Trends in Labor Force Participation of Married Mothers of Infants.” Monthly Labor Review, Bureau of Labor Statistics, February 2007. http: / / opub/mlr/2007/02/ art2full.pdf.

See p. 15 for statistics about mothers at the two ends of the economic spectrum. Mothers with top-quintile husbands worked at a rate of 48 percent in 2005; those with bottom-quintile husbands worked at a rate of 47 percent. Those with middle-quintile husbands worked at a rate of 64 percent.

Cohn, D’Vera, Gretchen Livingston, and Wendy Wang. “After Decades of Decline, a Rise in Stay-at-Home Mothers.” Washington, DC: Pew Research Center’s Social and Demographic Trends Project, April 2014. 1mZ1sgq. Source for statistics about the number of single mothers (p. 8) and on the reasons they give for staying home with their children (p. 14). Also the source for data about “opt-out” professional women (p. 6) and the common belief that children should be raised by a parent at home (p. 26).

Friedan, Betty. The Feminine Mystique. New York: W. W. Norton, 1963.

Hewlett, Sylvia Ann, and Carolyn Buck Luce. “Off-Ramps and On-Ramps: Keeping Talented Women on the Road to Success.” Harvard Business Review, March


Source for statics about women who succeed in returning to work.

Hirshman, Linda. Get to Work: A Manifesto for Women of the World. New York: Viking, 2006.

“Childcare and housekeeping . . .”: see p. 2. “Although childrearing . . .”: see p. 34. “doesn’t remove decisions . . .”: see p. 26.

Kazez, Jean. The Weight of Things: Philosophy and the Good Life. Malden, MA: Wiley-Blackwell, 2007.

Krakauer, Jon. Into Thin Air: A Personal Account of the Mt. Everest Disaster. New York: Villard, 1997.

Lamott, Anne. Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Sons First Year. New York: Anchor Books, 1993.

My favorite book about parenthood. Quotes are on pp. 19, 20, 60-61, and 48.

Nietzsche, Friedrich. The Gay Science. Translated by Walter Kaufmann. New York: Random House, 1974.

“Become who you are”: Book Three, section 270. More precisely, the quote is “What does your conscience say?—‘You shall become the person you are.’ ”

Paul, L. A. Transformative Experience. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2015.

Peters, Joan K. When Mothers Work: Loving Our Children without Sacrificing Our Selves. New York: Perseus, 1997.

Sandberg, Sheryl. Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead. New York: Knopf, 2013. Statistics about employment rates are on p. 202 (note 5) and p. 206 (note 23).

Saul, Jennifer. Feminism: Issues and Arguments. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2003.

Chapter 1, “The Politics of Work and Family,” is particularly relevant.

Chapter 12. Boys and Girls

Angier, Natalie. Woman: An Intimate Geography. New York: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 1999.

Boylan, Jennifer Finney. She's Not There: A Life in Two Genders. New York: Broadway, 2013.

Butler, Judith. Gender Trouble: Feminism and the Subversion of Identity. New York: Routledge, 1990.

Churchland, Patricia. Touching a Nerve: Our Brains, Our Selves. New York: W. W. Norton, 2013.

Most relevant is chapter 5, “Aggression and Sex.”

Colapinto, John. As Nature Made Him: The Boy Who Was Raised as a Girl. New York: Harper Collins, 2000.

Davis, Bill, Fred Wolf, and Len Steckler (directors). Free to Be You and Me. Hen's Tooth Video (aired on television 1974, DVD released 2001).

Dawkins, Richard. The Selfish Gene. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1976.

The definition of sex is on pp. 140-42: “there is one fundamental feature of the sexes which can be used to label males and males, and females as females, throughout animals and plants. This is that the sex cells or ‘gametes’ of males are much smaller and more numerous than the gametes of females. This is true whether we are dealing with animals or plants.”

Dreger, Alice. “The Social Construction of Sex.” Pacific Standard: The Science of Society, March 21, 2014. 1UhyfBZ.

Eliot, Lise. Pink Brain/Blue Brain: How Small Differences Grow Into Troublesome Gaps—and What We Can Do About It. New York: Mariner, 2009.

For data on skewed traits, see pp. 12-13.

Fausto-Sterling, Anne. Sex/Gender: Biology in a Social World. New York: Routledge, 2012.

For her very cautious, non-committal discussion of gender identity formation, see chapter 5. On p. 53, she explains some ingenious studies of how babies react to males and females in their environment. The estimate of the number of transgender kids is on p. 64. The terms “desist” and “persist” are on p. 65, but credited by Fausto-Sterling to other authors.

Fausto-Sterling, Anne. Sexing the Body: Gender Politics and the Construction of Sexuality. New York: Basic Books, 2000.

For the estimate that 1.7 percent of children are intersex, see p. 53. Chapter 3 is an excellent introduction to intersex conditions.

Fine, Cordelia. Delusions of Gender: How Our Minds, Society, and Neurosexism Create Difference. New York: W. W. Norton, 2010.

Hines, Melissa. Brain Gender. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2005.

On sex and toy choice, see chapter 6, “Sex and Play.”

Hyde, Janet Shibley. “The Gender Similarities Hypothesis.” American Psychologist 60 (2005): 581-92.

Hyde, Janet Shibley. “New Direction in the Study of Gender Similarities and Differences.” Current Directions in Psychological Science 16, no. 5 (2007): 259-63. The meta-analysis of sex difference reports is on p. 260 (table 1). “within-gender variability is typically. . .”: see p. 260.

Joel, Daphna. “Male or Female? Brains Are Inter sex.” Frontiers in Integrative Neuroscience 5, no. 57 (2011).

Jordan-Young, Rebecca. Brain Storm: The Flaws in the Science of Sex Differences. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 2010.

Kantor, Jodi. “Harvard Business School Case Study: Gender Equity.” New York Times, September 7, 2013.

McCarthy, Margaret M., and Arthur P. Arnold. “Reframing Sexual Differentiation of the Brain.” Nature Neuroscience 14, no. 6 (2011): 677-83.

Oprah Winfrey Network. I Am Jazz: A Family in Transition (documentary). http://

Overall, Christine. “Sex/Gender Transitions and Life-Changing Aspirations.” In You've Changed: Sex Reassignment and Personal Identity, edited by Laurie Shrage, 11-27. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2009.

Pfaff, Donald. Man and Woman: An Inside Story. New York: Oxford University Press, 2011.

“Destroying the preoptic area . . .”: see p. 75. “a wide variety of vertebrate species . . .”: see p. 75. “in higher primates . .”: see p. 85. “Only the biologically- based . .”: see p. 68.

Poisson, Jayme. “Remember Storm? We Check In on the Baby Being Raised Gender- Neutral.” The Star, November 15, 2013. 1dsW5WI. Source for the Jane Ward quote.

Sax, Leonard. Why Gender Matters: What Parents and Teachers Need to Know about the Emerging Science of Sex Differences. New York: Three Rivers Press, 2005.

Sax advises parents of “anomalous” boys to send them to all-male summer camps that specialize in sports and outdoor activities. “Avoid computer science camps, arts camps, music camps, and the like,” he counsels (p. 228).

Solomon, Andrew. Far from the Tree: Parents, Children, and the Search for Identity. New York: Scribner, 2012.

The chapter on transgender children is extremely illuminating.

Sveinsdottir, Asta. “The Metaphysics of Sex and Gender.” In Feminist Metaphysics: Explorations in the Ontology of Sex, Gender and the Self, edited by Charlotte Witt, 47-65. New York: Springer, 2011.

For the two analogies, see p. 59. For the claim that sex is “conferred,” see pp. 58-64.

Warnke, Georgia. After Identity: Rethinking Race, Sex, and Gender. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 2007.

The long quote is on p. 187.

Witt, Charlotte. The Metaphysics of Gender. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2011.

Chapter 13. The One and the Many

Biss, Eula. On Immunity: An Inoculation. Minneapolis: Graywolf Press, 2014.

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. “Polio Elimination in the United States.”

Source for facts about polio incidence and the need for continued vaccination.

Cullity, Garrett. “Moral Free Riding.” Philosophy and Public Affairs 24, no. 1 (1995): 3-34.

For the enterprising elves example, see p. 10.

Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health, Institute for Vaccine Safety. “School Exemption Laws by State.” htm.

Lyten, Jeroen. “Vaccination Policy and Ethical Challenges Posed by Herd Immunity, Sub optimal Uptake and Subgroup Targeting.” Public Health Ethics 4, no. 3 (2011): 280-91.

My classification of refusers follows this article closely, though I use different names.

National Conference of State Legislatures. “States with Religious and Philosophical Exemptions from School Immunization Requirements (August 23, 2016).” http://

Nozick, Robert. Anarchy, State, and Utopia. New York: Basic Books, 1974.

For the public address system, see pp. 93-94.

Offit, Paul. Deadly Choices: How the Anti-vaccine Movement Threatens Us All. New York: Basic Books, 2011.

Oshinsky, David. Polio: An American Story. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2005. For polio statistics, see p. 161.

Reagan-Steiner, Sarah, David Yankey, Jenny Jeyarajah, Laurie D. Elam-Evans, James A. Singleton, C. Robinette Curtis, Jessica MacNeil, Lauri E. Markowitz, Shannon Stokley. “National, Regional, State, and Selected Local Area Vaccination Coverage Among Adolescents Aged 13-17—United States, 2014.” Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report 64, no. 29 (July 31, 2015): 784-92.

Source for HPV vaccination statistics.

Sears, Robert. The Vaccination Book: Making the Right Decision for Your Child. 2nd ed. New York: Little Brown, 2011.

For more on risk of polio, tetanus, diphtheria, and measles, see p. 197.

Stemwedel, Janet. “The Ethics of Opting Out of Vaccination.” Scientific American Blogs: Doing Good Science, June 29, 2013. 1UfLqOr.

Texas Department of State Health Services. “Vaccination Coverage Levels in Texas Schools.”

Texas Department of State Health Services. “Exclusions from Immunization Requirements.”

Vestal, Christine. “In States with Looser Immunization Laws, Lower Rates.” Pew Charitable Trusts, February 9, 2015. 17b00p1.

Source for statistic that there are 2.5 times more exemptions when states allow personal belief exemptions as well as religious exemptions.

Chapter 14. Lies, Lies, Lies

Aebersold, Carol V., and Chanda A. Bell. The Elf on the Shelf. Atlanta: CCA and B Publishing, 2005.

Bok, Sissela. Lying: Moral Choice in Public and Private Life. New York: Vintage, 1999. Includes an appendix with excerpts from classic discussions of lying by Augustine, Aquinas, Bacon, Grotius, Kant, Sidgwick, Harrod, Bonhoeffer, and Warnock.

Gopnik, Alison. The Philosophical Baby: What Children's Minds Tell Us about Truth, Love, and the Meaning of Life. New York: Picador, 2009.

For more on how children know the difference between real and imaginary companions, see pp. 53 and 71. For the look and giggle of pretense, see p. 31.

Kind, Amy. “Creative Mothering: Lies and the Lying Mothers Who Tell Them.” In Motherhood: The Birth of Wisdom (Philosophy for Everyone), edited by Sheila Lintott, 29-40. Malden, MA: Wiley-Blackwell, 2010.

“Children, especially young children . . .”: see p. 38.

Chapter 15. Passing on Religio n

Dawkins, Richard. The God Delusion. New York: Mariner, 2006.

Discussion of religious education is in chapter 9. “A child is not a Christian child . . .”: see p. 382. He subscribes to the stewardship view of parenting on p. 367.

Dennett, Daniel. Breaking the Spell: Religion as a Natural Phenomenon.

New York: Penguin, 2006.

Dennett is insightful about mechanisms of doubt-suppression (see chapters 8 and 11).

Humphrey, Nicholas. “What Shall We Tell the Children?” Amnesty Lecture, Oxford,

February 21, 1997. http: // 1UhxKrt.

Law, Stephen. The War for Children's Minds. Milton Park, UK: Routledge, 2006.

Chapter 16. Letting Go

Castle, Terry. “Don’t Pick Up: Why Kids Need to Separate from Their Parents.” The Chronicle of Higher Education, May 6, 2012.

Deresiewicz, William. Excellent Sheep: The Miseducation of the American Elite and the Way to a Meaningful Life. New York: Free Press, 2014.

“The child is made to function . . .”: see p. 44. “bespeaks a misguided belief . . .”: see p. 43. “status competition within . . .”: see p. 43. “When your kids get into . . .”: see p. 44. “Don’t talk to your parents . . .”: see p. 123.

Lahiri, Jumpha, The Lowland. New York: Random House, 2013.

Quote is on p. 294.

Obama, Barack. Dreams from My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance. New York: Three Rivers Press, 1995.

Rohner, Ronald P., Abdul Khaleque, and David E. Cournoyer. “Parental Acceptance- Rejection: Theory, Methods, Cross-Cultural Evidence, and Implications.” Ethos 33, no. 3 (2005): 299-334.

Chapter 17. Going Home

Anonymous. The Classic of Filial Piety (Xiao Jing). Translated by James Legge. http://

“The son derives his life . . .”: see section IX.

English, Jane. “What Do Grown Children Owe Their Parents?” In Having Children, edited by Onora O’Neill and William Ruddick, 351-56. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1979.

Chapter 18. Parenthood and Meaning

Brogaard, Berit. “Parental Love and the Meaning of Life.” In The Theory and Practice of Ontology, edited by Leo Zaibert, 223-40. New York: Palgrave Macmillan, 2016.

Clark, Andrew E., Ed Diener, Yanni Georgellis, and Richard E. Lucas. “Lags and Leads in Life Satisfaction: A Test of the Baseline Hypothesis.” Institute for the Study of Labor, Discussion Paper No. 2525, December 2006. 1W5PTIf.

For impact of first child on life satisfaction, see the two figures on p. 23 and the discussion on p. 10.

Frankfurt, Harry. The Reasons of Love. Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press, 2006.

For the quote about the mathematical certainty of love for children, see p. 65. He speaks of the purity of love for young children on p. 42. “When all is said and done . ”: see p. 77. He calls self-love the purest form of love

on p. 80.

Johnston, Mark. Surviving Death. Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press, 2010.

Kahneman, Daniel, Alan B. Krueger, David A. Schkade, Norbert Schwarz, and Arthur A. Stone. “A Survey Method for Characterizing Daily Life Experience: The Day Reconstruction Method.” Science 306, no. 5702 (2004): 1776-80.

Kenrick, Douglas. “Renovating the Pyramid of Needs: Contemporary Extensions Built Upon Ancient Foundations.” Perspectives in Psychological Science 5, no. 3 (2010): 292-314.

Kidder, Tracy. Mountains Beyond Mountains: The Quest of Dr. Paul Farmer, A Man Who Would Cure the World. New York: Random House, 2004.

Layard, Richard. Happiness: Lessons from a New Science. New York: Penguin, 2005. “There is indeed great rejoicing . . . ”: see p. 68.

Nagel, Thomas. “The Absurd.” Journal of Philosophy 68, no. 20 (1971): 716-27.

Nussbaum, Martha. The Fragility of Goodness: Luck and Ethics in Greek Tragedy and Philosophy. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1986.

Scheffler, Samuel. Death and the Afterlife. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2013.

Senior, Jennifer. All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood. New York: Ecco, 2014.

Singer, Peter. How Are We to Live? Ethics in an Age of Self-Interest. NewYork: Prometheus Books, 1993.

“Her only role . ”: see p. 197.

Singer, Peter. The Life You Can Save: Acting Now to End World Poverty. New York: Random House, 2009.

“taking part in a collective effort . .”: see p. 170.

Tolstoy, Leo. The Death of Ivan Ilyich & Confession. Translated by Peter Carson. New York: Liveright, 2014.

Wolf, Susan. Meaning in Life and Why it Matters. Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press, 2012.

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