How can I find purpose and meaning in life again?

People spend much of their lives searching for purpose and meaning. They craft their own personal direction gradually. Skills, work, productivity, and relationships all contribute to our identities. Then something uncontrollable—chronic illness—comes in and robs you of all the things that contribute to who you think you are. Nothing seems to matter. All is lost. Your old normal is gone. But you can build a new normal. You can create a new purpose and new meaning for your life. Finding purpose and meaning is a journey, not a destination.

Realize that you are more resilient than you imagine. It's a good idea to take the time to write your thoughts and feelings as you read through the next few paragraphs. Writing makes the experience more concrete and helps to clarify your thinking. Think about all the difficult challenges you have ever faced and overcome. What did you do to live through ordeals and then get back to your life? What did you learn from these experiences?

Take a look at the tools you have for building a new life. How is your life with chronic illness different from your life before the illness? Make a list of all the things and abilities you have lost. Now make a list of all the things and abilities that you still have. You might want to do this over the course of several weeks. Sometimes it is helpful to ask a loved one to look over what you have written and make suggestions. When you are absorbed with your illness, it is hard to see the forest for the trees.

Finding purpose and meaning is a journey, not a destination.

Accept the fact that change is part of living. Everyone changes. No one gets to stay the same. Some changes are beyond your control. Focus on the things that are within your control. Make realistic plans and short-term goals. Your goals should be something you want to do, not what other people think you should do. Be very specific defining a goal so that you will know with certainty when you have achieved it. If you don't have a lot of confidence that you will attain your goal, modify it so that you can do it. Be flexible, modifying your goals to reflect disease activity.

Stay connected with other people. You don't get to drop out of the human race because you have a chronic illness. Remember there are over 133,000,000 people just like you in the United States alone. Spend quality time with your loved ones. Be willing to ask for and accept help when you need it. Try new things. Most of all, remember that illness is a part of your life but not the center of it. You are not your illness.

How is journaling an effective tool in managing chronic illness?

Developing a chronic illness and then receiving a diagnosis along with the information that there is no cure, and that you will be stuck with this as long as you live, (or at least for a very, very long time) is traumatizing. Invasive medical tests and procedures are traumatizing. Stigma, loss of identity and self-esteem, and myriad unpleasant emotions are all companions of chronic illness. You may be inhibiting the expression of this trauma because you are afraid of acknowledging it or because you are afraid that you will alienate people who have to listen to you. In Opening Up: The Healing Power of Confiding in Others, James W. Pennebaker states that,

'Actively holding back or inhibiting our thoughts and feelings can be hard work. Over time, the work of inhibition gradually undermines the body's defenses. Like other stressors, inhibition can affect immune function, the action of the heart and vascular system, and even the biochemical workings of the brain and nervous systems. In short, excessive holding back of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors can place people at risk for both major and minor diseases."

You certainly don't need another disease, and you don't want to make the one you have worse. But you don't want to drive people crazy as you tell and retell your story. You may think that no one wants to be around a sick person. But as you just read, one way or another, the story and the feelings that accompany it have to be expressed. What can you do? You can journal. It's just as effective as telling your story to someone, maybe even more so.

Your journal can be written or you can speak it into a tape recorder. Either way, expressing what is on your mind can help you clarify your thinking and can have a profound influence on the way you see yourself and the impact of the disease on your life. When you talk or write about the trauma of chronic illness, you gain insights into yourself without the stress of inhibition.