Avoiding

Uses:

• When an issue is trivial, of only passing importance, or when other more important issues are pressing.

• When you perceive no chance of satisfying your concerns, e.g., when you have low power or you are frustrated by something which would be very difficult to change (national policies, someone's personality structure, etc.).

• When the potential damage of confronting a conflict outweighs the benefits of its resolution.

• To let people cool down - to reduce tensions to a productive level and to regain perspective and composure.

• When gathering more information outweighs the advantages of an immediate decision.

• When others can resolve the conflict more effectively.

• When the issue seems tangential or symptomatic of another more basic issue. If you scored High:

• Does your coordination suffer because people have trouble getting your inputs on issues?

• Does it often appear that people are "walking on eggshells?" (Sometimes a dysfunctional amount of energy can be devoted to caution and the avoiding of issues, indicating that issues need to be faced and resolved.)

• Are decisions on important issues made by default? If you scored Low:

• Do you find yourself hurting people's feelings or stirring up hostilities? (You may need to exercise more discretion in confronting issues or more tact in framing issues in non-threatening ways. Tact is partially the art of avoiding potentially disruptive aspects of an issue.)

• Do you often feel harried or overwhelmed by a number of issues?

(You may need to devote more time to setting priorities - deciding which issues are relatively unimportant and perhaps delegating them to others.)

2. Competing : A competing style is high on assertiveness and low on co-cooperativeness. This style is power oriented and approaches conflict in terms of a "Win-Lost" strategy. On the negative side, a competitor may suppress, intimidate or coerce other parties into conflict. On the positive side, a competing style may be necessary when a quick, decisive action is required or when important but unpopular courses of action may be taken. In addition, competing may be required when "you know you are right" is an issue.

Thus, while the competing mode is useful in certain situations, people have to be careful not so surround themselves with "Yes Man" and not to foster ignorance and duplicity in the system. People low on this mode can learn to use their power more and enhance their own as well as their organization's effectiveness. If on the other hand, X has very high concern for himself, but very low concern for the other, then X will take a very high competitive stance and would approach the conflict situation from "I win-you lose" stance. The competitive mode of handling the conflict will then resolve who wins and who loses in the situation.

The Competing Style is when you stress your position without considering opposing points of view. This style is highly assertive with minimal cooperativeness; the goal is to win. The competing style is used when a person has to take quick action, make unpopular decisions, handle vital issues, or when one needs protection in a situation where noncompetitive behavior can be exploited. To develop this style you must develop your ability to argue and debate, use your rank or position, assert your opinions and feelings and learn to state your position and stand your ground.

Overuse of this style can lead to lack of feedback, reduced learning and low empowerment. This can result in being surrounded by "Yes-Men". People who overuse the competing style often use inflammatory statements due to a lack of interpersonal skills training. When overuse is taken to an extreme the person will create errors in the implementation of the task by withholding needed information, talking behind another person's back (or "back-stabbing"), using eye motions and gestures designed to express disapproval and creating distractions by fiddling or interrupting. Overuse of this style can be exhibited through constant tension or anger and occasional outbursts of violent temper.

Under use of the competing style leads to a lowered level of influence, indecisiveness, slow action and withheld contributions. When the competing style is underused some emergent behaviors people exhibit include justifying the behaviors, demanding concessions as a condition of working on the problem, threatening separation as a way of making others give in and launching personal attacks.